Broken: Expressions of A Daughter's Journey

Spindling through this thing called life…

Feelings of connection to a device, in which all the bolts were breaking one by one and as they break, the things of life were crumbling like a clump of desert dirt. It was though everyone around was pursuing their dreams and accomplishing some sort of significance. It was as if life stopped for me as others pursued destiny. Although, life was stale as a dishcloth left lying on the side of a sink. Not only did life stink but also it was stiff and dry posing as defeat.

With the mass communication of clutter clinging around in my brain, a young person entering the first real achievement of time is in turmoil. Searching for self but lost in a windfall somewhere around the age of 14 years old. Probably several years prior…but the addiction to acceptance by others set in, in the worse kind of way.

My emotions and mind-set were tossed back and forth as leaves on a branch in a windstorm. There was molestation, sexual addictions, recreational drug use, need to get paid syndrome, promiscuity, alcohol, shoplifting and shopping. Beauty is only skin deep, but outward attractiveness became my enemy. It felt like a curse instead of a blessing. My insides felt like a corroded battery cable inhibiting any charge of forgiveness for myself. As life was permeating defeat into the core of my soul, I was fixated with me; the all about ‘Me’ syndrome, along with, being in the ‘in’ crowd. No One Around Knew the WARING SIGNS OF SELF-DESTRUCTION. Truly, I was self-incinerating. Family, friends of the family, enemies, haters, boyfriends [users & abusers]…they all had their definition of why someone with so much potential was reducing herself to ashes.

  The word of God says, He knew and called me while I was in my mother’s womb (But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased…, Galatians 1:15, NIV). Still I find myself saying, Lord, Lord, who am I? This is ALL About Me...I, Karen

Sign, In-To-Me-See